


The King Loves: Shelter My Heart

by Lissachan504



Category: Historical Romance - Fandom, Kdrama - Fandom, rinsan, the king loves, wang rin
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11969961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lissachan504/pseuds/Lissachan504
Summary: Under orders of the crowned prince, Wang Rin was to shadow Lady San while she seeks serenity in the country after her fathers sudden passing.  A simple task that unexpectedly turned sour.  As they traveled quietly on the road to their destination, they encountered a band of thieves; they fought valiantly but there was just too many.  Rin and San fled into the woods in attempts to lose the ruffians within the trees. They ultimately succeed but also succeeded in getting lost themselves.Night comes quickly and they need to find shelter from the bitter cold.Alone and in the glow of the campfire Rin and San must withstand the elements...and the relentless whispers of their hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

Wang Rin positioned himself at the mouth of tiny cavern monitoring the worrying aggressiveness of the unexpected storm. Though the horizon was lost through the thick of the towering trees, there was no doubt this was just the very beginning. The wind howled hauntingly from the hills, bringing with it cold, bitter air from the mountain top. 

He shivered and glanced briefly over his shoulder at San gathering wood for a fire. Instinctually he turned back before smiling. Beautiful and strong....although it had been a trying day she continued to persevere. First, with the bandits, then both of them, somehow getting lost in a forest he thought he knew and now the storm...

Being exhausted, wet and hungry... they have to survive a night, together.It was by some miracle that Lady San spotted the cave from the main path. A small place they could hide from they could hide until the rain stops...

Why was everything working against him? The longer they were together the more he felt like he was being suffocated. His heart swelled and throbbed with a terrible ache... Idly his hand slowly came up pressing his fingers to his chest to calm the sensation. The soaked fabric clung to his chilled skin, but he still massaged anyway. It must stop, this feeling...must stop. 

Why would the prince send him and not come himself? Rin feared that his majesty had noticed his emotions seeping out. It was so hard to control them around her...

" Hey..." The sudden sound of her voice caused him to pivot. He gazed at her attentively but remained quiet.

" Come away from there" San waved her hand. " You'll catch your death."

When did she start a fire? Had he been dazing off so long?

" Yes," Rin answered softly. He stiffly wandered over, careful not to make eye contact and sat himself uncomfortably on the bamboo mat she had placed by the fire pit.

" It's nice..." She mused warming her palms over the flames.

" Not too close," Rin warned, forcing back his want to move her hands away.

" She is to be returned to me...without a scratch." The prince's voice ringing loud and clear through his thoughts. A harsh reminder. If he fails, even though Rin was his Majesty's only friend...would pay severely. For The crowned prince's sentiment for San was far greater than for their friendship and Rin knew it.

San's dirt smudged face smiled. The first he'd seen in many days. " You are always so anxious...do you ever relax, Rin?"

It was a fair question...though he felt so uneasy about her asking it.

" I suppose I do." He admitted. " Though I am rarely in a position to be comfortable."

Like this moment...

Her slender brows slacked. " Not even now? "

Could she see it? How he feels? He swallowed back his nerves and tried a lighter approach.

" This," Gazing around that the dark, damp environment then back at her. " Is hardly comfortable."

San snorted a laugh.A brilliant glowing smile, that shined more than the sun. "True. Though it could be worse..."

" Worse?" Rin asked. Worry and concern taking over again. For a second, he was almost at ease.

" Yes," She began with a more somber tone " I could be here, suffering such heavy burdens...alone."

Rin could not temper his heart. It beat wildly rebelling against his commands seeking to be closer to her.

Everything became harder, forced and tense.

Had he gone mad? Did he dare have these feelings for her knowing she was the crowned prince's first?

His eyes wandered over her face, her brilliant smile. And at that moment he knew...he was lost.


	2. Part 2: Should I come closer?

San couldn't shake the chill off her bones, it gnawed intensely and relentlessly at her like a savage beast. She shivered scooting herself closer to the crackling fire, though he didn't give much comfort. Where those flames even hot? They glow red but gave no warmth... She was frozen and consumed by the endless string of misfortunes that had transpired since leaving the palace. How could a person be so unlucky? 

This trip was supposed to be a retreat to ease her mind, allowing her to properly morn her father in peace. Her original idea was to go alone so not to be burdensome...however that was unacceptable to the prince. Since he, himself was unable to join her, he ordered Master Rin to accompany her in his place. Rin seemed uncomfortable but did as the prince commanded.

And now, her eyes sneaking a peek at her quiet protector, he was cursed as well... Anyone who got tangled up in her path also suffered her fate. Since the day she had met the prince and master Rin, there had been nothing but turmoil...

Her weary gaze roamed over his tall, strong form as he stared into the fire, totally immersed in his thoughts. His strained features were mostly veiled behind long damp locks, but it was clear that he was completely drained by the day events. He fought valiantly, fluidly taking almost all of the bandits on himself. Beaten, battered, hungry...and still, he remained tender to her. How can a person be put through so much and not feel anger? 

As San curiously inspected his appearance, unexpectedly Rin lifted his dark eyes from the flames and met hers. Immediately in response, her heart stuttered wildly, skipping many beats and hurrying to find a normal pace again. The sensation threw everything else and over whelmed her. Not wanting to look away, she wanted to stare deep in those pools, she wanted him to see her, finally.

San forced a steady breath. Why did she have this reaction around him? An intense excitement and a dull throbbing ache... What was it? Shouldn't she be angry with him for keeping secrets?

Deep in her heart, she understood. The betrayal was painful, but not as painful as losing him. He knew the consequences, the whole family would be punished and almost were. Why should he suffer for his vile brother's doings? It wasn't fair...not in the slightest.

But as usual, Rin after a few tense moments looked awkwardly away, dropping his gaze once more to the dancing blaze before him. Timidly he cleared his throat and began poking the fire with a bent branch he had found.

Frustrating...

" Are you...alright?" He asked softly. The sincere concern for her was not at all masked. It caught her off guard. " You look pale."

Could he tell under all the dirt?

" I'm cold," She managed to clasp her arms around herself, rubbing her limbs briskly to demonstrate. " This fire has no warmth..."

With her reply, he halted to pondered thoughtfully; a long tormenting internal battle with his inner demons. What was he thinking about so intensely? His handsome face was so strained, eyebrows furrowed with worry. It made San uneasy.

After a long contemplation, Master Rin swallowed roughly, sluggishly raising his head.

" Should..." His smooth voice cracked, he paused breathed and tried again. " Should I come closer?"

Her jaw went slack and she stared at him in awe.

" What?" She stuttered, flustered and suddenly overheated. Did he just..just. It took a minute for her regain composure. Get our head on straight San, Rin isn't like most nobles...or men for that matter. Why was she so fluttery. "Oh... I don't know if it would do any good, but...it's worth a try."

It wasn't for any other reason than to combat the cold. No other reason... Although she attempted to rationalize his motives with logic her mind was already musing.

Carefully he rose snatching the mat up in his fist. Her eyes followed him until he was alongside her, towering over her... then the excited sparks took over. Her eyes quickly flickered to her muddy boots. Maybe this was a bad idea?

A faint rustling of robes came from beside her, Rin let out a soft sigh as he got comfortable. Although she didn't need to look to know how close he was, she could feel the heat of his body radiating over her shoulder. She sucked in a sharp breath; instinctively she wanted to cling to it... Could she endure this? Being this near to him?

Just then fate decided to test her resolve. 

Without warning, his gentle hand touched her cheek. San instantly jerked her head up startled. At her reaction, Rin curled his fingers up like he was burnt.

" Sorry, Lady San, You have a wound... " He apologized promptly, then motioned to his face in the same area, " Here."

" I do?" She immediately checked, and low and behold, there was a small cut on her skin. Had it been there the whole time? It wasn't very big, but upon noticing its existence, it began to throb and bite at her.

He promptly grasped her hand pulling it away. " Don't do that..."

She blinked slowly as their gaze fixed on each other. San's chest constricted tightly around her ribs, giving her very little room to draw breath. Why...Why will he not say what's behind those eyes? She wanted to hear those words so much it hurt...

Please tell me Rin, Do you ache like I do?


	3. 3: The beat of my heart...

~The abrupt growl of thunder overhead swiftly broke them free of the intense gaze locking them in place. Rin was thankful for the distraction, but after his heart calmed from being so suddenly startled, his attention was presented another most alarming problem. When lifting his lashes again, he found himself a mere breath away from the woman he so desired.

Why was fate so cruel? Must they keep tormenting him like this?

A soft gasp escaped San. Her eyes wide with shock and body rigid and stiff... however, she didn't immediately retreat from their closeness. She remained still as if waiting for something.

Did he dare hope that she felt as he did? The idea evoked excitement and terror. He never wanted something so much in his life and it scared him.

Impatient, his urges begun to forcefully nudge him; demanding he give in. He doesn't dare move...not even an inch. So there they hung in reach but, trapped by each other's gaze.

How much more of this could he endure? Everything, every little thing was stretching him beyond restraint. The more he watched her, the more he wanted her for his own... How could he even think this? No, He couldn't give into the selfish urges pushing, pulling and testing him at every turn. Though he wanted to... 

Push me away... Please... He silently begged fighting against the heated frenzy throbbing in his chest. I don't think I can hold back anymore...

As he continued to be completely consumed by her endless pools, his lingering resolve began to cloud within the clash emotion. Guilt, compassion, heart ache, yearning...pain, such acute pain. Too much for one heart to bear.

Move away... Move away...Move away...

Chanting the order over and over in his head, hoping it would somehow stick and his body would eventually obey. But in the end, his efforts were in all vain. His shield shattered leaving his emotions to take over...

God Help Me...

Ultimately surrendering to his heart, Rin found himself lifting his hand and boldly resting it on her jaw. His unsteady fingers brushing along her dirt smudged cheek and lightly touching the loose wisps of silky hair hugging her face. He feverishly dreamt about touching her like this so many times... the eagerness caused his arms shake.

Then cautiously tilting his head he halted, hovering just over her lips.

San's gaped at him astonished with jerky breaths. Not moving, not fighting him, Her response gave him faint hope. If she didn't want any part in his affections she would have slapped him outright. She was strong that way. Not like most women, he had known; soft dainty flowers that cling to their men.. and submit easily. A type he has little to no interested in. 

Then Lady San came, striking him so hard he saw double for the first few seconds of laying eyes on her. She shined brighter than any other woman he had ever met and from that moment on he knew that his battle has just begun. He tried and tried to keep his distance, but it failed every time...

For a first in his life, he wanted something for him...

"Forgive me..." He whispered in a low bassy tone before drawing in and pressing his mouth to hers as tender as humanly possible.


	4. 4:The Shattering Truth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

San instantly became awestruck the second his strong, warm lips touched hers.Sanity and logic abandoned their post, leaving her with nothing to protect herself from the dizzying onslaught of his embrace. He had swiftly rendered her powerless and completely numb to everything except him. Was this the same polite, backward friend she had come to know? The gentle savior that rushed to her side whenever she was in danger. Loyal and benevolent to a fault. He would just appear ready to do anything to keep her safe. Dashing and valiant; the fantastical thing of dreams. How could this not sway any woman's heart?

The truth of the matter was her will had surrendered long before the fight began. She just instinctually accepted him outright despite her better judgment. She yearned for him to see her, really see her and know she wanted the same as he did. Though his eyes only ever fell on her briefly and would dart away. Now she knew why...

San's inner deliberation suddenly was thrown by Rin tugging her closer, his mouth moving with more thirst than before. The intensity was staggering, so much so that she swiftly grasped at the damp cloth on his shoulders to keep from melting into the earth beneath her. The drum of her heart sounded more like infantry tromping around in deep snow drifts than normal beats; a throbbing that muted all other sounds around it. It was maddening and consuming... She had never felt like this... and wondered if a person could die from a kiss such as this...

No air existed in that moment though her lungs desperately searched for it. The jerky rise and fall of her chest started to become strained and made her feel faint. She needed to stop him or she would collapse. Not because she wanted him to, but for her health.

Carefully, she pushed the heel of her palm against him, a subtle request for release. Quickly noticing her body shift, immediately Rin withdrew expanding the space between them, although he seemed reluctant to do so. He exhaled, sluggishly dropping his hands at his sides. 

" I can't," She panted not daring to look up at him. Her face flustered and red like a fresh garden tomato. How could she in this state? It took almost all of her energy to breathe...

A moment she needed just a moment to collect herself and composure.

" I..." His usually light tone, rough and riddled with guilt. " I know I shouldn't have..."

San could already hear him moving away from her. The woven mat shuffling along the stone.

"No." She said hastily interrupted him.She needed to explain before he misinterpreted her actions. " I couldn't breathe..."

The moving stopped.

" What?" He asked quietly. She could tell by his tone he was taken back by her answer.

" You stole my breath..." She said slowly raising her lashes to him. " I couldn't breathe..."

He said nothing. His eyes searched her face for the truth behind her statement.

Then a silence fell, a heavy awkward gnawing that made her more uncomfortable than the damp clothes she was wearing. But as she watched the young lord, she deduced he was caught in an affliction of either taking her into his arms or fleeing out into the storm for a moment of reprieve. She couldn't blame him for that. Something needed to be said.

And after a moment he opened his mouth to speak.

" Why didn't you push me away?" Rin asked clearly conflicted. " Didn't you say you had a special connection to his majesty?"

" Yes," She replied feeling her nerves tighten again. " I do have a special connection to him..."

Rin furrowed his brows, hard carved distress written clearly on his face. " Then why did you...."

" Friendship, Master Rin." She explained after abruptly interrupting him. " A warm and loving friendship."

He stare at her liked he had been slapped. " Friendship?"

Doing her best to ease the swell of her heart she continued, against the warning bell going off in her head.

Had she lost her mind? She knew the consequences of what she was about to do but somehow... after discovering that he held her more compassionately than she first thought gave her courage. And the fact that her own father trusted him caused her to liked him more.

She didn't care how reckless it was... She had to say it.

" Yes..." Lowering her voice to a softer, calmer tone. " Not... the same thing I feel for you."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>


	5. I want to be the one who holds your hand...

The roar of the storm ebbed at the approaching dawn. The golden-orange cast slowly slashing the darkness and bringing forth the radiant shafts of light through the dark damp tree trunks. Rin stood lazily at the mouth of the cave and peered out at the breath taking scenery. He smiled as the rays touched his frigid skin with soft gentleness. The sudden heat caused chills to crawl all over his body, he shivered and rubbed his arms vigorously. The brisk morning air was now clear and promising a warm and dry day of travel. This made him hopeful

Though the ground lay muddy from the hard rain, it wasn't impossible to traverse. If they could retrace their steps, and once again find the main path, then it wouldn't be too difficult to catch up the time lost. Hopefully, Lady San was up to the task

She seemed to slumber soundly throughout the night but not all sleep was restful. How can laying on the sharp, cold ground be comfortable at all?Impulsively, he checked over his shoulder at the woman curled up next the fire pit. 

She hadn't stirred, not an inch. He envied her resilience and adaptability. He had managed very little rest, not more than a few hours. It would no doubt put a strain on him later. Another thing to add to the growing list. 

And with the remaining embers quickly fading into ash, it wouldn't be long before she would stir from her dreams. It worried him that with being caught in the storm last night and sleeping outdoors with no blankets she would become ill. Her constitution may be strong but... they had to be careful. She had been under a tremendous amount of stress lately and there was still a long road ahead of them.

Be strong and I'll do the rest.

For a moment he watched her musingly as her body softly rose and fell in the rhythm of her breaths. Rin wanted nothing more than to hold her tightly in his arms and tell her everything would be alright. Even if it was a lie... The words she had spoken to him last night by the fire. Her bold and tender confession had caused his heart sing excitedly, but it also opened a pathway that can only end in misery. He knew that the prince would never allow him to have her, so knowing she had the same feelings for him made it that much worse.

What have I done?

He felt deep in his bones that the worse was yet to come...and the prince was at the center. Was it wrong to want to run away with her? To want to go somewhere no one would ever find them so they could live in peace? That's all he ever wanted... Love and a peaceful life. However, that's not what fate had dealt him. 

Why must I always be taken further from the things that I want?

" Rin?" The sound of his name brought him back from his morbid thoughts. As his eyes focused in they fell on San who was gazing curiously back at him.

"You're awake?" He asked turning in towards her.

" Are you okay?" she sluggishly rubbed the sleep out of her eye to see better. After a few blinks, she seemed to accomplish the task.

" Yes." He nodded. " I was contemplating breakfast."

She smiled with a groggy laugh. " Me too. It's a shame we lost our packs in the fight yesterday. I had more than enough food."

"We'll have to make do." He added wandering over and crouching down next to her. She promptly sat up to greet him. "Perhaps there is a stream nearby?"

San ran a hand over her unkempt ponytail, intermittently picking out twigs. " Maybe. Give me a moment to wake and I'll go with you."

Rin tried to hide his smile. How can she be in this disheveled state and still be beautiful?

"Are you sure you don't want to rest more?" He questioned lightly touching her arm.

" No. I'm fine..." She cocked her head to the side and gave it a shake. 

" Okay then." He replied and was about to offer his hand to assist her up when a loud snap suddenly resonated through the cave. The harsh echo bounced off the damp walls as the two inhabitants immediately turned their attention to the opening. 

As they looked there seem to be nothing amiss, then the sound came again; closer.

Rin grasped the handle of his sword, carefully climbing to his feet and felt Lady San move up behind him doing the same.

" More bandits?" She whispered against his back.

"Possibly...or an animal..." He answered in a quiet breath, still immersed on the archway. He prayed it was an animal. At least they would have food then.

" What do we do?" Her voice rising in panic.

" We wait..."


	6. I am not unforgiving...

SNAP.

Slow footsteps?A deer maybe? Or a rabbit?

San strained her ears to hone in, hoping that would bring some clarity.

Crunch, SNAP

More than one? Perhaps not an animal... She had heard many types of creatures living in the mountains and this was not the same thing; the steps were too calculated...

Snap.

They're close... She swallowed fighting back nagging nerves and impatience to go rushing out and face them head on. She hated all this waiting ...if they didn't attack now they would be cornered and have to fight it out in close quarters. Not very ideal.

CRACK

That was just outside... 

After a breath, San glanced up at her tall guardian and hoped that he would at least hint at what the next move would be.

The abrupt approaching noises compelled the young master to draw the sword at his hip carefully and almost completely without a sound. Instinctually he positioned his weapon and himself at the ready, holding a strong and steady stance. Anyone who saw him at this moment could tell he was a seasoned fighter, cautious, patient and deadly with each strike. 

Courageous...

This wouldn't be San's first time witnessing Rin battle, although it amazed her how a man so refined, gentle and some what averse to common interactions, could shift so quickly when the situation called for it. His adaptability was incredible.... he was incredible. There were many things she had yet to uncover regarding her gallant friend.... Strangely enough, she found herself surprisingly eager to discover what else he hid behind that handsome smile. But now was not the time for fantastical musings...

Carefully Rin reached back with his free hand grasping San's sleeve. His sudden and unexpected contact caused her to jerk.

" Stay behind me." He whispered barely loud enough to hear, but she indeed did hear it.

Always the protector. Had he forgotten she could fight as well? Maybe not at his level but still enough to hold her own. She sighed only slightly frustrated.

I can fight with you...we can together...

San tugged his firm grip from her arm and then slid her palm into his, giving it a tender squeeze. This was her answer.

No need to unnecessarily alert, whatever or whoever is out there. Her voice tended to be loud when she spoke so this was better...safer. She prayed that Rin would understand.

The next few seconds became a blur, once the pair of tired companions stepped over the threshold, three large and haughty men sprang out of the near by shrubbery armed with clubs and rusted blades.

Definitely the bandits from the road. How did they find them so quickly? Surely the storm would have washed away their footprints.

"Did you think you could get away?" The particularly fat and filthy man spoke first, presumably, the leader chuckled though his gapped grin. "We own this wood and everything in it..."

Dirty and delusional...

At that moment, Rin's temperament changed, he moved forward confidently and with purpose. San followed staying half hidden in his shadow. 

"I'm giving you only one chance..." The young master said in a unnervingly cold tone then extended his arm pointing the gleaming steel at the fool before him. " Leave now and I'll let you live."

The ruffians appeared stunned by his threat, glancing back and forth at each other confused. It only lasted a minute, however, soon the head idiot came back with a sharp bite.

" Let us live?" He laughed holding his jiggly belly as he did so. " You look like you could barely fight off a cold pretty boy. Do you even know how to use that sword?"

A growl rumbled low in Rin's back. His position and demeanor swiftly changing as his persona did.

" Come and find out..." He hissed daring him to attack. 

And his cheeky taunt succeeded.

" Get'em!!!" He shouted and with every ounce of strength he possessed, the lead bandit rushed across the murky earth, his club raised high over his head and howling at the top of his lungs; he charged.

However, the other men didn't. They stood anxiously gripping their weapons...but not reacting.

but not reacting

 

Rin countered the man's assault with graceful swiftness, fluidly dodging using very little effort. As the leader stumbled past and into a thatch of fallen branches, Rin sighed and awaited his next move.

"Shameful." Rin uttered coolly flipping his sword in his palm. " How did you survive so long with skills of this kind?"

Now furious at the young noble mockery, he attempted his strike again.He roared bolting out of the muddy ditch and began barraging her companion with strike after strike, but not once hitting his target. 

San's heart pounded as she watched the dramatic scene, excited and fearful. She shouldn't she be helping Rin instead of...just gaping at him like a fool? Although it appeared he didn't really need her assistance. The young master seemed to dance on the wind as he fought, smooth and careful... He was deadly and beautiful.

Was he even human? Master Rin what are you? 

It didn't take long for the tubby thief to topple to the ground with Rins blade at his chest. The fat foe lay before the masterful swordsman cowering and pleading for his life. While his friends quickly took off into the forest before they suffered the same fate.

Cowards...

She sighed sheathing her weapon then placed her palms on her hips, somewhat disappointed and somewhat amused. Carefully she made her way across the battlefield to Rin's side. He glanced at her briefly with a playful grin. Then his eyes fell back on the prisoner.

"Please show mercy, Noble Lord," He begged grubby palms held up in surrender. " I am but a poor farmer trying to feed my little ones."

Rin halted at the man response, he intensely pondered a moment then spoke.

"This is not the way to provide for them... Who will protect them if something happens to you?"

He tried to sound unfeeling, but his compassion for the less fortunate was seeping through. The want to provide for one's family is a powerful incentive. People will do almost anything to keep their loves safe. Anything...

San remained silent and observed. She didn't know what to do or say in this situation so she chose the safer alternative.

What will you do, Master Rin? Strike down the man for attempting to rob and perhaps kill us because we appeared to have wealth or set him free to let him be with his children and wife once more?

Her questions were soon answered as if he could hear her asking them in her head.

Rin cocked his head and with a sharp nod, he gave his reply. " Go and don't ever let me see your face again..."


	7. Stay with me.

~No words had been spoken between them proceeding the surprise encounter with the unruly bandits. The air had become strangely burdensome; so heavy... And although Rin could feel Lady San's gaze on him, watching him, she would quickly turn away when his eyes met hers. A response that provoked intense despair and unrelenting ache deep in the pit of his stomach. Could he have he been wrong about her feelings? No...if she didn't want his kiss she wouldn't have accepted it. And she did...accept it fully.

So...why would she not look at him? Perhaps... she now regretted what had happened because of the prince.

That damned thread. He grumbled with increasing irritation and immediately felt guilty for it.

Stop it... You have no right...

Rin was rendered awestruck by his sudden venomous thoughts for his childhood friend. Such heated thoughts he had never had before. Had he gone mad? What right did he have being jealous of the crowned prince? She was his first...and he deliberately disobeyed and betrayed his friend's trust. Rin had taken San's first kiss...and somehow he knew he should be feeling more remorseful for his doings.

But he wasn't...

Briefly looking back on the moment, a sudden swelling began squeezing behind his ribs. He hastily pressed his fist to the center his chest to ease the stutter. Breath came in short sharp bursts accompanied by waves of heat and dizziness.

Easy, Rin chanted softly in his head. Easy...He exhaled quietly and continued on the path as if nothing was amiss. Do not alert San to...

" Master Rin?" She asked interrupting his thought.

Too late.

He often wondered if his thoughts were painted clearly on his face...and this worried him greatly. It was odd that San could always see his distress no matter how he tried to hide it. Luckily the prince nor his family did not share her talent.

He swallowed and veered his lightly veiled gaze toward her. " Yes?"

" You...look pale," She said anxiously stepping into his path. He wobbled unsteadily in an effort to a stop as she drew in close. " Are you ill?"

He shook his head giving a smile to reassure her. " No, I'm well."

" Are you sure?" Reaching up she touched her fingertips to his jaw, testing the temperature."Maybe we should rest for a bit..."

While still holding his face firmly in her palm, her eyes swiftly began searching the area for a suitable place.

"Lady San..." He said softly trying to divert her focus back forward.

His attempt failed and she voraciously continued her search.

" There has to be somewhere decent ... I won't have you collapsing on me," She grumbled.

" Lady San,"

"You would think I would know this forest better than anyone since I spent much time here as a child..." She muttered becoming increasingly frustrated with her lack of coherent memory.

Her determination and unconcealed concern for his well-being made his heart ache that much harder. How was he going to let her go when the time came? Rin feared he may not be able to...and that scared him even more than any punishment from the prince.

" San..." He tried again, gingerly curling his hand around hers and moving it away.

This caught her attention. Her name informal and intimately spoken.

She hesitantly shifted her eyes to her hand first, they hung there a moment as if stunned, then slowly her gaze wandered up to his.

"I'm fine," Rin repeated his response quietly as his fingers gently brushing and exploring the curves and softness of her hand for as long as she would allow. He was greedy for any contact her could get...

" Then..." She said timidly and in a more serious tone. " Why do you wear that somber expression when you think I'm not looking?"

She was watching him and rather attentively so it seems. The very idea excited him.... Was her silence earlier because she was worried for him and not...from regret? Did he dare to hope? He did...he did dare. He wanted to tell her everything that he had kept locked up in his heart... he wanted to hold her, kiss her and make her his... He wanted it...all of it.

Carefully Rin stepped forward and cautiously edged his face to hers. And with a labored breath, He gave her his reply.

" Because as of late... I find myself desiring things I have no right to," He admitted honestly.

San blinked her lush lashes sluggishly as she contemplated his words. A long moment passed and then another... The waiting was more painful than being slashed by a blade.

Say something...anything...

" What is it?" She asked finally breaking the awkward silence.

" What?" He managed, attempting to no stare at her mouth when she spoke.

"The thing you desire... the thing that makes you pained to live without?"

Could he answer? Did he have the endurance to be rejected? He really didn't have a choice now... He could try to create a very pretty lie, but San was smart; she would see right through it... This was it, no turning back.

I'm sorry my prince, my friend, I've failed you...

Quickly releasing her hand from his grip, Rin slung his arm around San's waist and tugged her body to his with a soft thump. A tiny squeak escaped her as the space between them was eliminated. Her palms promptly came up and hooked the collar of his robes so she could readjust her balance. And there she had no there choice but to hear his answer.

 

"You," He whispered softly as someone other than the birds would hear him."What I want...is you."

Crowded against him, he became suddenly very aware of her growing enthusiasm. Rin could feel her heart stop, skip a beat, then start again while increasing speed.

" Me?" She panted half excited, half awestruck by his sudden declaration.

"More than I have ever wanted anything in my life..." He confessed, lifting his free hand to trace her skin carefully from temple to cheek. " But I risk my life yearning for someone that my prince has already deemed his and I will pay dearly when I return."

San's shocked expression gradually faded and was exchanged for something entirely different. Something...disarming.

"Then..." She said shyly tightening her grip on his collar. "Don't go back."

Rin's eyes widened in surprise.

" What did you say?" He asked her to repeat it just in case he had gone insane.

"Don't go back to the prince...." She replied tenderly and with no doubt in her decision. " Just stay with me."


	8. Breathless

" What did you say?" He asked.

"Don't go back to the prince...." She replied tenderly and with no doubt in her decision. " Just stay with me."

San's body wildly rushed with anticipation, hysteria, and fear. What she had done, was not only utterly selfish but absolutely dangerous for both of them.... She knew full well what it meant for him to accept her request. He would have to leave behind his family, his friendships...become a loathed and hunted outcast all because of her overzealous want to have him close. How could she ask him to do something like that? It was wicked....and wrong.

However...

The longer she stood there gazing upon his strikingly handsome face, she became consumed by his rich, dark pools; her logic and nagging guilt began to sway. How does he take her breath only by looking into her eyes?

Rins draw was almost impossible to ignore… It was like large invisible hands reaching out and locking your body in place…strong, powerful hands. But gentle…

Once there…you had no choice but to meet his gaze and become intoxicated by it…

He can’t be human. She had pondered it over and over until her head spun from going in circles. The young master was some kind of ethereal dream sent from the heavens to test our strength of heart. No mortal man could paralyze you just with one look…at least none she had encountered so far.

That…look… San sucked in a rough breath.

His dark mysterious eyes fixing on you with heat and compassion. There was no way to fight him…The only option was…

Surrender

"San..." He said forcibly. His thick brows furrowed intensely into a sharp-angled v. 

"Just..." She pleaded awkwardly, as her fingers curled in the fabric in her hands." Stay with me...even if it's for only one night."

This may be the last time she would ever see him. The long trip to the countryside had another purpose besides giving her peace of mind. San had never planned on returning...

The suffering had been way too much to endure and witnessing two childhood friends being torn apart by her....caused her stomach to lurch. She needed to return the friendship that she had stolen and leave them to be happy once more....and she would....

After she made a beautiful memory to look back on when she needed to; when she needed him...

 

"Wha...what are you saying?" Rin stammered in a dramatic exhale. 

A wave of tears suddenly pooled against her lashes. The thought of never seeing him again crushed the air out of her chest and though she had to do this...her heart was screaming.

San couldn't deny it anymore.... She loved Rin. Ardently.

" I..." She stuttered through sobs. "I..."

As her words failed her, her driven instincts didn't.

Gathering Rin's decorative collar in her fists she quickly lifted herself up on her toes and pressed her lips impatiently to his. Her eyes fluttered close releasing the stalled tears down her cheeks. It was both beautiful and tormenting all at the same time.

Please, just this...I just want this...

Immediately he froze, puffing hot air through his nose. His hands flailed a moment until they finally came to hesitantly rest on her shoulders. Then as swiftly as the kiss came, she ended it. Slowly, gently she eased away...removing the warmth between them.

Although she had no idea of his current expression, she could hear his heavy, labored breaths. Her eyes refuse to open. She panted, hanging onto the feeling as long as she could.

Somehow being dizzied and drunk from their embrace her courage returned.

" I love you..." Her words clear and tender...an unmistakable confession.


	9. Just once

Rin was a flurry of fire, insanity, and heat. Whether it was the slow-burning in his chest or the rapid dull pulse in his ears. He felt utterly lost to his emotions. Did... did she just say she...loved me? He couldn't find his breath no matter how much he gasped.

Why was the air so heavy?

" You...love me?" Rin stumbled over his tongue almost completely engrossed by her parted lips. His shaken mind was unable to comprehend how touching those soft pink curves could envoke such a powerful reaction within him. It was only for a moment...just one gentle touch and he felt like his body had been consumed by scorching flames. 

Slowly he drew in a jerky breath, finally lifting his lashes.

" Yes..." San replied quietly, reluctantly opening her glassy pools. A keen and uncompromising gaze came back at him. She meant her words, wholeheartedly. 

She loves me.... Me... How did he become so lucky?

But as he felt bliss and joyful , he also felt pained at the same time... the dark murk dread had returned....

I cant do this....

All he ever wanted was just once for something to go his way. Every day since he was born he lived at the mercy of others and it frustrated him though he would never show it. Being compliant and loyal, denying himself every moment of every second...

"How...do you expect me to be...satisfied with just one night after..." He swallowed then struggled to finish his sentence. "You confessed to me?"

" I know it's cruel..." San admitted hastily as her tiny hands curled in his collar. "How can I ask you for more? I'm putting your life at risk with every touch...but I can't control my heart, it's too strong."

" San..."

Rin paused, roughly shaking off an uneasy feeling creeping up his spine. There was something strange about the way she was speaking... almost like she was saying goodbye. 

"Rin..." She interrupted with a trembling lip. "I need a warm dream to save me when the sorrow and pain become too great... for when its dark and I'm slowly withering from loneliness.... I'm not a fool... I know we can never be together as long as the world stays as it is...so at least let me have a memory to live for."

Everything in him was willing and ready to accept her request. With his heart body and soul. Only one thing was holding him back... What she said wasn't wrong... They would never be allowed to marry unless somehow his highness gives him permission to.

" She is my first."

The sharp resonance of his voice echoed in his conflicted thoughts putting his yearnings in perspective. It didn't matter that he, the prince already had a beautiful princess who cared for him a great deal... he desired San and really didn't care if she loved him back. His Majesty couldn't really be blamed for his selfishness... it's all he had ever known. He truly loved San but just didn't know how to express it properly. No matter how arrogant or selfish he may be... Won was his friend...dear friend.

Betrayal cannot be undone.

"I can't..." He answered softly. " You know I can't."

She nodded sluggishly with tears spilling down her cheeks, then released his robes attempting to retreat. 

The most heart ripping thing one would have to witness...A person they loved pulling away.... An invisible wound causing the person to bleed inwardly and in total agony....

He failed again...always one step behind.

" We should get going then..." She quickly wiped the droplets from her face. " It's pretty late in the day...and we still have to reach the road."

" Lady San..." He began, but she swiftly moved away and veered to the woods.

Damn it...

"Let's hurry, Master Rin..." She replied over her shoulder with her voice cracking a bit. " It looks like more rain is coming..."


	10. Storming Hearts

"I can't..."

The soft simple words sliced through her like a searing hot blade, repeating the brutal wounding over and over until she couldn't breathe. Although she knew it hurt him just as much as it did her, his rejection felt as if someone stabbed her directly in her heart and now she may bleed to death. How was she to travel with him now? When their eyes met, even briefly, she felt her insides being torn apart...

It hurt so much...

This was her was her own doing, however... If she would have returned to the mountains like she ought to, the connection wouldn't have been made... and her mind would have eventually forgotten them. Him... This was her fault for not letting go sooner.

Just a little longer. She encouraged herself, attempting to keep her eyes front and not have them wander to the tall somber man alongside her. It would be a great test indeed, but she had to persevere...it was the only way.

Once they reached her family estate tucked deep in the thick green wilderness, Rin would undoubtedly be eager to take his leave back to the palace...back to the prince. Widening the gap between them...Then that would be it.

Taking an uneven breath, San made a valiant effort to continue casually down the dusty gravel path slightly behind her companion and endure the storm brewing violently in her chest. This was how it was to be. Ending their warm friendship in anger would only cause the pain to linger longer and she didn't want that.... Though the awkward tension provoked a sharp ache... it was better than nothing.

Drip.

San stuttered to a stop at the sound and lifted her gaze to the slate-colored clouds hanging overhead.

"Hmmm?" She hummed aloud just as another cold drop splashed her cheek.

She sputtered wiping the cold water from her dirt-smudged face. Rain again? Sometimes spring was more burdensome that beautiful...

Drip drip drop. 

The large droplets came quicker now, heaver and more of them. 

She clicked her tongue and swiftly began to scan the area for shelter. They hadn't progressed too far since the sun rose and although this was the main road...there had been nothing around but forest for the last few hours. They needed refuge from the storm and soon.

Maybe another cave? A large tree or rock ledge?

While searching, she felt a warm hand grasp her wrist, immediately she shifted her attention.

"This way..." Rin said quickly before dragging her off into the damp brush.He said no more and she no choice but to be towed to whatever destination he had found. 

Despite his beautiful and elegant appearance. Master Rin was surprisingly strong and fast. Really fast... It may have had something to do with his long legs. One of his steps took at least five of hers to keep up, luckily it wasn't a far trek into the woods.

After a short run through the spindly pine, they came upon wide a clearing with a moss cover cabin set in the center. And though the abandoned dwelling looked to be more dangerous than the cold pouring rain to their health, they both charged towards it.

 

Just as their feet touched the cracked stone porch, a loud clap of thunder roared, vibrating the ground beneath them. It was deafening and muted all other sounds around them.

" Oh!" San exclaimed stumbling backward startled by the ruckus. Her boots quickly began to slip and slide on the slick moss that covered the step. However, she struggled only for a second before Rin's warm hands once more came up to steady her. 

The young noble hastily curled his arm around her floundering body and pulled her securely against his hip. She wavered slightly but managed to latch onto his shoulders keep from falling into a heap on the porch.

San dangled from his frame striving to collect some of her dignity. Somehow she always seemed to end up in his arms... either by falling like a clumsy fool or by her own lack of willpower. Why was she so unlucky?

She panted into the expensive blue fabric of his crossed over his chest.

" Sorry..." Her eyes unwilling to meet is at such a short distance. She didn't care. " Sorry...I'm so clumsy."

As he eased his grip slowly, she swore he chuckled. A light and almost cheerful musing. She couldn't recall too many instances where he had shown free, lively laughter. He was so reserved...well most of the time.

Her cheeks pinkened at the sudden memory of their first kiss in the cavern. A rush of fever and heat crawled over her making her sway. San yearned for that feeling again...and again...and again.

How greedy the heart was...

"It's alright..." Rin replied in his gentle voice. Something barely heard over the heavy rain. " I don't mind."

His breath fanned the nape of her neck as he spoke, raising not only goosebumps on her damp skin but the warning bells.

Was one rejection, not enough stupid girl?

Move away...move...

" San..." He whispered, still cradling her in his arms.

She didn't want to move...she wanted to stay right there. Just a few more minutes.

"San..." He tried again, shifting himself though she could tell which direction.

"Yes?" 

" We should get inside or we'll catch cold." He advised.

Slowly coming to her senses she eased away from his chest and took a few steps back. 

Right. It was pouring and the air was getting colder by the second. They should go inside. At the notion, her eyes instinctively wandered over to the worn doorway to the dark cabin and for some reason, her heart fluttered.

She was going to spend another night, alone with him...in there.


	11. Alone together

As the pouring rain brutally beat the moss-covered shingles outside, both Rin and San carefully searched the warped and rotten inner rooms for anything of use. There wasn't much left behind left behind from the past occupants. Moldy housewares, tools, and some tattered clothes; both male and female. That was about it.

Strangely, he found himself wondering about the masters of the cabin and why they would pick such a secluded place for their home? Many reasons came to mind. Fugitives, recluses...or just a couple seeking freedom from the constraints of the king.

However, their choice was not an easy way of life... There was very little nearby and no market to get goods from. Did they do all of the gathering, farming and hunting themselves?

So much toiling for a life forged by their own laws and rules. Would it be worth it though?

But after a moment of contemplation, he decided to push his curiosity aside and continued on, all the while keeping a stealthy eye on the lady. His gaze would often wander to her even when he was trying to focus on something else and he would have to wrench it back almost painfully to his task.

It was frustrating, to say the least, and not to mention the fact his thoughts were completely caught up in spending another night alone with her...

One more night.... He had to admit the idea excited him more than he would like. His body was already responding, fulling accepting the fantasy his overly eager and foolish brain was conjuring up.

He had to take pause and ease his breathing.

Stop this... Scolding himself sharply. It can never be...so stop tormenting yourself.

Amidst his fevered blundering, he managed to collect a few good sturdy branches for the fire pit located in the center of the largest room. Still fairly functional surprisingly with the years of neglect and weathering. It seems that they be fortunate once again. 

Slowly Rin crossed the groaning boards to his destination. A square sitting-eating area of sorts adorned sparsely with two faded cushions surrounding the charred stone bowl, a lonely table that leaned slightly to the left and a handful of wet tomes stacked beneath it.

As he knelt down before the crudely carved fireplace, his eyes scanned the dimly lit dwelling. Even with it being afternoon, and having been crafted with four decent sized windows, barely any light came inside, though the rain didn't help the matter any.

Off to the side of the main setting, was a smaller room with a splintered door dangling precariously from well beyond rusty hinges. Perhaps a bedroom or storage? San had mentioned earlier two rolled up futons tucked neatly back in a closet while exploring.

Very humble indeed but it also held an odd charm Rin was slightly envious. To live a free quiet life with a loved one...there would be nothing better than that. 

"San?' He asked as he arranged the small branches into a peaked pile and looked over to where the lady was rummaging in the corner. "Do we still have the tinderbox?"

After finishing her shuffling through a grimy pile of frayed cloth and old boxes, San pivoted to him and made her reply. 

" Yes...there's not much left, however." She admitted wiping her palms off on the end of her soil-colored robes, then she wandered causally to his side crouching down. "This trip...is taking a bit longer than expected."

She pulled the small metal container from her inner chest pocket and offered it to him.

" I'm sorry...about that." He apologized with a nod, then gently took the tin. " I should have been better prepared."

San crooked a nervous smile at the edge of her lips." I wasn't blaming you, Master Rin. I was simply stating that things have not gone as planned. It seems that fate has another path in store for us."

Of this, he was well aware. From the minute they left the palace grounds it had been one incident after another slowly stalling them out or taking them off course. Indeed it was if something was keeping them from reaching her uncle's estate.

And silently he was thankful for it... whatever mischievous spirit it was.

"Maybe..." He replied softly, flipping open the lid of the box and taking out the items required to ignite a flame. He had to be extremely careful, only a few tiny scraps of tinder remained in the tin. If the wood didn't catch, they would have to do without a fire for the night. 

She sighed and eased down on the threadbare pillow at his side. " After the rain eases, we should go on a search for something to put in our bellies. It's been almost two days."

As Rin was about respond, his empty stomach immediately felt compelled to voice its opinion.

The two tired and weary companions stared at each other for a short startled moment then bursts out in laughter. 

"Ooh..." He muttered awkwardly, rubbing a palm over the rumbling. " That's embarrassing."

"You are human after all..." San said through a loud nose snort, then proceed to attempt to muffle it with her hand. " I was beginning to wonder."

" What does that mean?" He asked becoming more sober. "Of course I'm human..."

The young lady smiled shyly behind her fingers but said nothing more. She turned her attention to the stone basin in front of her and began to nitpick at the way the sticks were arranged. 

What did that mean...not human? Did she think he was a troll or a wicked sprite? Rin had always done his best to be polite and kind to most of the people he met along his way. It would seem however it had all been a waste of time.People will see you how they want to see you regardless of how you treat them.

Sometimes figuring out how others see you, was more difficult than trying to step on the same piece of water twice. And even so Impossibly futile.


	12. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I apologize for my absence, I was pretty sick and couldn't write no matter how I tried. Now that I'm feeling more like me.,... expect the last few chapter of this epic tale!*

~Just outside the crumbling dwelling night had quietly fallen behind a veil of cold showering mist. A faint breeze was blowing through the wet laden leaves. The soft echoing songs of romancing crickets could be clearly heard mingling with the low, quizzical hoots of an owl nearby. A somewhat soothing but haunting ambiance to be expected how far away from civilization they were. Nothing around them but nature and the creatures that made their homes there. A notion that should cause her to be wary.... 

San's immediate attention veered from the licking flames before her and drifted to the side where Rin was desperately trying to stay awake by periodically stirring the kindling wood. She commended his gallant effort to be vigilant but it was in no way fooling her.

They had been through so much together, were they not beyond polite formalities? For pities sake, they kissed... and it wasn't just a peck on the cheek either. It was...much much more than that...

Fever rushed to her face and neck at the remembrance of the tender, loving moment they shared. Quickly she halted the feeling knowing that if he saw her anxious, she would have to craft a convincing lie to cover her relentless eagerness to be close to him again. And... she didn't know if she could do it.

"You should get some rest." She advised softly, shoving her greedy thoughts to the back of her mind. " I'll keep watch and wake you if I hear anything."

Instantly Rin's expression perked up at the sound of her voice. He quickly forced his eyes to clear and gave his head a vigorous shake.

" No. " He replied throwing off sleep's weighty grasp." I'm fine...please take your ease. I'm sure you're exhausted."

San sighed leaning to the shoulder of the dashing nobleman. His gaze followed her nervously the closer she came.

"How are you to protect me, Master Rin if you can't even lift your heavy head more than a few minutes?" Her tone tender and full of concern. She didn't want him running himself down to the point of passing out for her sake. His health was at risk and she couldn't have anything happen to him...ever.

" I'm alright," He smiled warmly. "I have endured much worse than this...and besides...is it not my duty to protect you at any cost? As ordered By the crowned prince himself?"

Won...

Her body stiffened as his name passed through her thoughts. Because of this dear friend came much tension and sadness. Not completely his own doing, but by his position and persistent desire to have her at his side no matter where her heart lies. He was the reason that her love would never be satisfied.

That unknowing, and relentless friend.

"Don't push yourself..." She warned gently, her gaze not wavering from his. "You make me worry for you."

The sudden fixed connection between them absorbed all of her attention at once. She found this happening with an alarming increase. Every time their eyes would meet like this... a raw tension would build until she felt like she was being crushed. 

Maybe staying in this abandoned place wasn't such a good idea, though they had little choice in that matter...

Rin sighed a weak smile, reaching over and touching his fingers to her arm lightly. "I'm well...Honestly." His silky words wrapping around her with incredible warmth and tenderness. 

 

San nodded slowly, slightly overwhelmed by the heat coming from his hand. How can he be this warm when everything around him is freezing cold? She wanted to so desperately cling to it...cling to him.

"Now please get some rest." He urged softly. " At first light, Ill see if I can find us something for our hungry bellies."

She was compelled to push the issue further but she knew very well just how stubborn Master Rin was. She would not win no matter if her point was valid or not. At this, she conceded.

" Fine." She replied in a partially covered yawn. " But only for a bit.. then it's your turn."

" Agreed." He said then went quietly back to poking the fire.

No more was said. They had kept their interactions brief so that would leave little opportunities for fate to take advantage and push them closer again. She had been very persistant...no relentless in her quest to match them together.

Why was she so cruel? Had she not suffered enough that the heavens decided to add this to test her heart. It baffled her why the universe would toil so hard for a match that could never be... 

Unless... there was something, some clue she was missing.

She longed for a way for them to be... she even secretly prayed for it. Was that greedy? Yes... very but that's the way the heart works. It wants what it wants and will not take no for an answer.

As she battled her inner monologue, San found an adequate narrow alongside the charred basin and made up a makeshift futon there from the old piles of cloth found in the storage cubby. And there she lay down making sure to keep Rin within reach. Just in case.

Her tired eyes watched him for a few long moments before closing them to an almost consuming sleep. One that happens before you even notice and she welcomed it.

Lady San dreamed of many things once lost in slumber and most of them included her soft and gentle companion.

At least here... you can be mine, just for a while.


	13. I surrender

" It stopped..." Rin whispered softly at the warped ceiling.

The rain had finally, graciously moved on after hours of battering the small broken house with its might. Now only lingering wet drops could be heard falling off the trees throughout the hollow forest. 

It was a tiny relief. He was growing tired of his robes being stuck to his body. The garment was pretty but was barely comfortable on normal days. He should have chosen something more fit for travel, however not much would have endured such harsh weather. There was also the fact that once the sun rose he would have to traverse the murky mud to find some sort of food. It was going to be interesting that was for sure.

From the corner of his eye, he checked on the lady for the hundredth time since she had fallen asleep. He was forever watching her...even when he wasn't, he was; with constant and relentless worry... and wearing himself thin in the process. He had never been like this before.

It was such an exquisite pain...to love and unable to be loved in return.

You have to stop this... He knew he had said it to himself over and over again like a mantra hoping it would stick ... but his heart wouldn't listen to reason.

Rin sighed slowly as his gaze rolled over her curled up form. She slept peacefully and with no tears. Which was surprising considering the circumstance. The girl had been shown no mercy from a very young age and fate kept pushing as if it wanted to test how far San could be pushed before she cracked.

How much more? How much more would fate test her resolve?

" Rin..." San whispered hauntingly.

Her faint sluggish call caught his attention almost instantly. His head jerked up with a furrowed brow.

Did she just...?

Unsure, he slid from his mat, crawled quietly alongside her and peeked over her shoulder.

Nothing but slumbering breathes escaped her. The lady was sleeping peacefully and only shifted slightly to him coming close.

Was he hearing things? He was lacking much-needed food and sleep...so it was possible. But he could have sworn...

" Rin..." Suddenly again she spoke. A soft feathery cry, different than the first; it was mournful.

He did hear it. She called to him...from her dreams. This realization caused him to worry more intensely. Inherently, he reached over and gently brushed his knuckle against her cheek to ease her worry.

"Don't..." She begged with a clenched jaw. " Leave me..."

Instantly he felt guilt and ache tare at his chest like razor-sharp claws. The lady was even tormented as she slept. And this wound, the one she now suffers, was one that he caused.

Coward. His own mind turning against him.

He needed to do something instead of just staring at her like an idiot. He gave her this pain...now he had to be the one to free her from it.

" San..." He drew in close to her ear, continuing to soothingly caress her skin. " I'm here."

"Rin....please." She whined again, unexpectedly flipping over and pushed herself up against his thighs as he knelt next to her. Her arms latched around his waist and she drug him as near as she could.

It hurt so much to see her this way. It felt like stabbed repeated with a burning blade through the heart.

Why must things be as they are? It's not fair...not fair at all.

Tenderly, Rin combed his unsteady fingers in her hair of trembling girl clinging to him as if he was the only source of warmth in the world. Light continuous rhythms. Steady and calm.

"I'm right here beside you..." He murmured just loud enough to be heard. " I... I won't leave, I promise."

Did he...just swear to her that he would stay? His breath suddenly became labored. The clarity in his vow startled him. There was no doubt, no hesitation. He just said the words, truthfully. 

What the hell was he thinking? Was he stupid enough to go against the prince's orders just to be with her? Be a fugitive...for her? what about Dan and...

And shockingly he found the answer waiting on his tongue before the questions could even finish.

Yes. To all of the above. Yes.

" RIN!!!!" She yelped through panic and alarm.

The boisterous outcry ripped Rin from his inner debate slightly staggered. As his head began to clear, San jolted upright from her blankets, knocking her forehead hard off of his chin. They both stumbled back a bit from the impact.

" AYAH!" She grumbled slapping a palm over her temple. Her tone irritated and groggy from sleep. " What are you..."

But her words quickly fell off once she noticed the proximity between them. Her eyes widened as she stared back at him.

 

Too close... They can't be, He warned himself but felt his will waning quickly as it came. Her compassionate gaze shattering his defenses in one go.

God, she was beautiful. How could he think straight when she looked at him like that? 

"Rin?' She asked stunned.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked softly panicked and swiftly reached his fingers over to inspect the wound beneath her hand. " Let me see..."

She still gawked at him like he had grown a second head. Rin sighed and tried again.

It was going to bruise for sure. Damn fool.

"San..." He asked raising his voice just a little.

Finally, she blinked bringing her out of her crawling daze. " What?"

Rin inched closer. " Let me see..."

This was a poor judgment on his part. The closer he was to her, the less restraint he could hold onto. And the way his mind was right now...

"Rin..." She mentioned timidly lowering her palm. " Why are you...?"

" You were calling me." Rin tapped his fingertips to the reddened area. No bruise had appeared yet, but a puffy welt had risen on the delicate skin.

" I was?" Her eyes curiously wandering over his face as he worked carefully. " I don't remember."

"Did you have a nightmare?" He asked dipping his lashes to hers. " You sounded upset... It worried me."

Her slender brows crinkled into angles at the obvious change in his tone. He was no longer hiding his regard.

"I sometimes do..." She admitted. " But I rarely remember them and have never called out someone name..."

"Well its over now, no harm done..." Rin offered a smile to ease the air, then realized that they had banged heads. Fool. " Well, almost...I'm sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay..." She replied, lifting her hand to timidly move his away from her face but didn't release it. Instead, she curled her fingers around his in her lap." I was the one who caused you anxiety unjustly. Should I not be the apologizing?"

THUMP THUMP THUMP. 

" I'm so burdensome to you..." She admitted softly.

Tension growing.

So soft... her hands were so soft.

" San..." He said trying to swallow back his heart. It was useless, however... he was beyond the point of redemption. He was insanely in love with her...and nothing but death was going to stop it.

"I'm Sorry, Master Rin. I didn't mean to..."

San had begun to speak but her words were quickly silenced by Rin's lips greedily coming down over hers. Dizzy with heat and passion, he kissed San with impatient hunger and she astonishingly returned it back. After a brief moment of shock and confusion, the lady surrendered, utterly, completely. This just fueled the fire...

He didn't know what would happen after the frenzied embrace ended or what consequences they would suffer but right now he didn't care...

All he wanted was her now and forever...


	14. I love you.

Although San swiftly became weak and disoriented by Rin's intoxicating affections, she somehow managed to balance herself awkwardly against his chest before collapsing on the floor. Her trembling hands rested over his frenzied heart; hurried unwieldy beats, lurching forward eager to connect with her touch. How could such a vigorous and wild rhythm come from a man as temperate as he? Was this what lay beneath that polite exterior? The idea provoked her impatience and excitement deep inside the depths of herself she had yet to explore. She needed to know this unrestrained persona beneath.

Indeed he was bold in stealing a kiss, and even more so in continuing to keep her lips captive...totally unexpected because of his rejection earlier, but not at all unwanted. Definitely not...unwanted.

Lord help her...

She wanted it, more and more with each passing minute; almost bordering obsession. His touch, his warmth...his kiss. It was madness, her love for him was madness, however, she wasn't alone in the dizzying descent. Though Rin hadn't said the words... she knew with every fiber of her being how he felt. With every look, he wore it on his face. Each tender word, it was implied. Every time she needed to be rescued, he was there... shielding her, protecting her, always. There was no doubt... He loved her. She didn't deserve it.... but he did anyway.

In this understanding, a sudden swaying blindness began washing over her, devouring her senses one by one at an alarming rate, but she wasn't afraid, she welcomed it with open arms. All resistance and reserve had dissipated the moment his breath wed with hers. Any hope for redemption was now lost...

While San was tied up in her winding thoughts and overwhelming emotional tides, she was unaware that Rin had gathered her into his arms. One was lightly curling her waist and the other was hooked off of her shoulder, where she could feel his fingers playing with the tangled threads of her hair. 

Even with all of this...his mouth still danced with hers. Tasting, savoring every tiny sensation until it flowed like water into the next. The air had vanished long ago and if he had not shared his breath... she would've have suffocated.

Just when had he gotten so close? Without her knowing their limbs wound around each other like wanton wild vines entrapping the base of a towering oak. The only obstacle remaining between them were her hands clutching the fabric spanning his heaving chest. His breaths were so rough and ragged she thought he may pass out. 

She should stop this...before it goes beyond a point they can't take back... 

She should, but didn't want to...

Then in one smooth motion, he cradled her jaw in the gentle warmth of his palm pulling her closer, and with long strong fingers, he lingeringly traced her earlobe from top to bottom. Tender and loving...always with infinite care. Like she was the most precious thing in the world. 

How was she to survive his touch? Can one die from such softness?

Eventually, San felt Rin reluctantly ease the pressure from her lips and slowly pull his mouth away. However, he didn't move retreat completely. It seemed he wasn't strong enough to sever the connection as of yet. For that, she couldn't blame him.

Sluggishly he thumped his hot forehead against hers lacking any more energy to lift it. It startled her enough to make her eyes flicker open. It took multiple blinks for gaze to come to clarity though she did achieve it.

His eyes remained closed as he rested there. He seemed more beautiful than ever if that was possible.

The next few moments drug passed with only the sounds of their hearts and breaths shadowing each other until Rin broke the semi-silence by clearing his throat to speak.

" San..." He panted.

" Yes.." She whispered.

" I..." He began what she thought was to be another apology for his lack of restraint. She already felt herself getting annoyed when he steadied a breath and tried again. " I can't do this anymore...I can't pretend, it hurts too much."

" What?" She asked unsure of what direction he was going. So she waited with anxious anticipation.

Please don't push me away again.... I'll die.

" I was a fool to think I could stop my heart...to think that...I could walk away...." He rambled in a strained tone. His brows angled and full of worry.

" Rin what are you..." She asked wanting him to get to the point. Her nerves were already strung out to the point of tearing. With a hefty sigh, she leaned back putting space back between them. It actually felt cold...and very lonely.

Please, dont...please don't...

"I love you. " He confessed softly. Only then did his eyes open to fix on hers. " Ardently."


	15. Forever with you. (Final Chapter)

~A soft tranquility had fallen over the world as they cradled each other tenderly before the fading fire. The sounds of morning could be heard raising over the lonely songs of night and with this Rin knew he would soon have to stir from the warmth of the woman in his arms. Reluctantly his eyes opened and flickered to clarity.

Though the interior remained dimly lit and shadowed by the glowing embers, the shining sunbeams could be seen from the torn paper windowpanes to the east. Brilliantly dusted shafts breaking into the darkness and his surreal musings. Which he was slightly annoyed by.

He didn't want it to come. He didn't want the day to begin because...he knew what that meant.

Slowly he dipped his chin to the girl snuggled to his breast and instantly Rin felt drunk. The mere sight of her combined with faint sounds of her delicate exhale as dreamt peacefully against him, caused rapid fluttering in his heart.

Did it really happen? He thought breathlessly, even hours after what they shared. Can a person dare to venture so close to rapture and then be able to return to their frightfully mundane life? Surely not. They had risked everything for just that one moment and now... they had to suffer the consequences of their actions.

No matter how harsh and hopeless...he would not leave her. Ever.

Gently, Rin's fingers smoothed her long silky tresses until they unexpectedly fell to the side exposing her bare collarbone and shoulder to the lustrous light.His chest caught a hard knot at the sight of such beautiful skin. He would have thought the intensity of this reaction would have dulled a bit....after...after. 

Rin's fuzzy mind immediately failed him as his body warmed at the passionate memory crawling back into his thoughts. It lingered intensely over him bringing all the sensations with it. 

Was this what it was like to love someone unconditionally? No boundaries? No limits?

A tiny taste of heaven...and now he was greedy for it.

She was undeniably gorgeous from head to toe... that was for certain. Did he deserve to have such a woman? The question made him wary because he already knew the answer.

Shaking off his anxiety, He reached over and timidly touched the softness, creating tiny, slow circles on her skin. Rin smiled softly biting the edge of his lip attempting to silence his giddiness. 

Just being with her like this...kindled absolute contentedness. Something that was terrifying and joyous at the same time. 

"Rin..." Her lazy voice beckoned. It startled him for a moment causing his hand to retreat from its exploration. " Why aren't you sleeping?"

Was she awake this whole time? Suddenly feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

"I..." He stammered quietly." I tried.... though it seems I had difficulty calming my heart."

It was the truth. He did try but every time he closed his eyes... those images came back. Moment after moment repeating like it was stuck in time. How was he to sleep if all he could think about was touching her?

" Has the sun risen?" She asked lifting her heavy eyelids open.

" Yes..." He admitted swallowing a dry spot in his throat. " The day has begun without us."

A soft groan promptly escaped San following his reply and she quickly nuzzled closer, burying her face in the nook at his shoulder. 

" No... not yet." She whined slightly muffled." Just a few more minutes..."

He couldn't help but chuckle. He knew exactly how she felt, however, food and clean clothes were a necessity. And they weren't going to get them as is.

" We must..." He said leaning in close to her ear. "Food will not come to us."

She huffed pulling her face from his neck and dropping her mouth into a pity expression. " But... I don't want to..."

" Nor do I." He admitted tenderly. " But if we wish to carry on with our travels...we need to eat and soon."

" I know...I know..." She mumbled not very enthusiastic about the idea. But Rin noticed something changed dramatically in her tone. The playfulness was waning and fast.

It was the reality sinking in...the fear of what was to come.

At his words, her brows crinkled over her nose becoming more serious." Rin..."

" Yes?" 

" What... will we do now?" She asked San asked pulling herself up to eye level. " Shall we comfort Won with the truth? Or...run, run far away and never come back? My father did have a place set ... it was his last wish for us to be together..."

He had disobeyed the prince's direct orders and not only that, he intimately laid with the woman Won designated as his "First". 

The punishment was death.

Rin abruptly felt nauseatingly guilty...for the blatant betrayal of his childhood friend, and if captured he would accept it fully.

But for now, however...

He silently pondered his fate while his eyes caressed the delicate features of the woman before him breathing a soft sigh to himself. He would be surprisingly content as a penniless, fugitive running from place to place if...if he could spend as many seconds as he could with her. 

“I don't know...” He said softly, gliding his palm over the curve of her back." But whatever... we decide, there's no turning back."

Though she was terrified, his response satisfied her. 

She shifted forward, placed a light kiss on his lips then smiled anxiously.

"No matter what happens to us... Whether we end up lost in a desolate wasteland struggling to survive each day... or if we get captured by the shadowguard tomorrow and are sentenced to death," San confessed with tears welling up in her eyes." I love you, Wang Rin, more than anything else in the world."

" And I you, my beautiful San." He replied softly fighting his own swelling emotions." Now and forever."

 

If this is what fate had written out for them...there was no fighting it... 

They both understood what it meant to love one another, they knew that Won would be furious by their betrayal and would obsessively search the country every waking moment until they were found and brought back. For this insidious sin to their dear friend, they would forever be exiled from the kingdom, their family, and friends... never again be together in harmony. 

They knew this... But how could they live the rest of their lives denying the yearning in their hearts? Suffering the pain of loneliness and want. It would be too much to bear.

They truly hope that one day... Won would find it in his heart to forgive them, not right away...but someday.


End file.
